Bad Dream
by I LOVE Sparkley Scars
Summary: I wish I never knew what I somehow figured out. Lie and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Tell me I'm having a bad dream. How do I recover from these pictures in my head? You were the love of my life. I sure hope she was worth it. Let this just be a bad dream. Tell me that it's all alright. "Don't go." Toby Turner/ Tobuscus XOC One Shot


_**Hello once again Audience! Welcome to my first ever Tobuscus one shot. It's slightly OOC on Toby's part, but this is fiction so let's just pretend. This story will actually have a second part posted later, seeing as I wrote it out but didn't save it, and it will be dealing with Toby and how he's dealing afterwards. Hopefully you all will like this. **_

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**Full Summary - **

I wish I never knew what I somehow figured out. Lie and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. Tell me I'm having a bad dream. How do I recover from these pictures in my head? You were the love of my life. I sure hope she was worth it. Let this just be a bad dream. Tell me that it's all alright. "Don't go." Toby Turner/TobuscusXOC One Shot

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"Please," I begged, tears spilling from my eyes. "Just lie and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about." There's a plea in my words, a desperate need to be wrong. He opens his mouth to speak but the look on his face speaks volumes. It's true. A sob escapes my lips and he reaches out to comfort me. I shrink back from his touch, not wanting anything to do with him.

"Rach," he murmurs, his voice sounding just as broken as mine which just makes me want to cry more. He takes a few steps closer, reaching for me again. His hand cups my cheek, thumb brushing away the tears.

"No. Don't okay? Just don't." I insist, turning away. I can't look at him anymore. That face, that man. The guy I'm in love. I can't deal with the images that form in my mind. Was she the first? Were there others? Was I really as important to him as I thought? Or was I just another girl that caught up in his charm?

Crumpling onto the couch, I sink into the fluffy cushions and pray that they'd hide me from the pain of the world. "I wish I never knew. I don't want to know," I whisper, hiding my face in my hands. "I just want to wake up," I implore. Lifting my head from my hands, I look pleadingly up at my one time boyfriend's features. "Tell me this is all a dream, please Toby. Tell me this isn't real, that you don't know what I'm talking about."

He shifts nervously under my gaze. With a heavy sigh, he sits on the couch next to me. "Rach, I...I don't know what to tell you. It just happened. I don't remember why, and no that doesn't make it better, but there's not one second of the day that I wish it didn't happen." The words are heavy and saying them seems to weigh on him substantially as his shoulders slump and he runs a hand through his messy hair. "I love you Rachel, not her or anyone else, please. I'm so, so, so unbelievably sorry." Those hazel eyes I love flit to mine, sorrow prominent in them.

I bite my bottom lip as I watch him. Shaking my head slowly, I clench my eyes shut. Fingers toying with the ring on my hand, I sigh and slip it off. Toby catches sight of what I'm doing and his hand quickly covers mine. "Please, don't. Please Rachel, I'm sorry, so very sorry."

Shaking my head, I pull my hand from under his. "I can't do this. I can't. I-I just need to get out of here. I'm sorry Toby, but we...," I trail off as I hold out the ring. He looks at it with frightened eyes, as if he's just as afraid as I am with this situation. Toby childishly shakes his head and clenches his hands, out right refusing to take it. Placing my hand over his, he relaxes and unclenches his fists but I can feel his hands tremble. I drop the expensive diamond engagement ring in his palm and curl his fingers around it.

"You were the love of my life. I sure hope she was worth it." With that I stand and head for the bedroom. My hands shake as I dig out a duffle bag from the closet. I beginning throwing things in, my movements rushed as I pick things at random. I tense when I hear him follow me. Zipping up the bag, I turn and find him leaning in the open doorway. The expression of utter despair on his face makes me want to fall apart. That look shouldn't be there. Toby should never have to look like that. It makes me want to give in and forgive him for his unfaithful ways, but I can't.

Our eyes lock and a silent conversation seems to flow between us. Him pleading for me to stay while mine cry for him to take back what he did. A hand grasps my own as I brush past him. Stopping in my tracks, I look back at him. His bottom lip is quivering and he's misty eyed. "Rachel, please...don't."

I hesitate and I see the appeal of forgiving him. We could have a chat, take a break from each other and start slow as we work through everything that had happened. I could be back with the man who made me the happiest. I could wake up everyday with the overgrown twelve year old I'd grown to love. I could even be married to him one day.

It had happened over two years ago, a few months after we became exclusive. If he had told me, I might've been more inclined to forgive and forget. But he never told me and had he when it happen. We might've been able to work through it. He didn't tell me though. Instead of coming clean he lied and kept this from me for all this time. He was able to lie to my face everyday. That wasn't something I'm sure I can forgive.

"No," is all I whisper in response. I try to tug my hand from his hold, but his grip tightens in a last ditch effort to keep me here. "Toby..."

"What'll it take Rach? I'll do anything to make you stay. To prove I love you. Name it." Hazel eyes widening with an idea, he sucks in a sharp breath to hold his tears at bay. Abandoning all pride, Toby drops it his knees suddenly. His hand slips from my wrist to lace his fingers with my own. "I'm down on my knees, begging you. Don't go."

My teeth clamp down hard on my bottom lip. A sobbing exclamation of 'I'll stay!' threatening to burst from my mouth. Tears fall freely from my red rimmed and puffy eyes.

"I'm _sorry_! So sorry! I love you with all of my heart and I'm a stupid idiot for ever doubting it. Please stay with me. I swear we can work this all out; I know we can. I'll do whatever it takes for you to stay. Anything. Whatever you want. _Anything_ Rach, anything." Toby's other hand is offering the engagement ring. A silent prayer is in his eyes, pleading with me to take the diamond from his hand. "I know I said I didn't want to have to kids yet because I'm not ready to grow up, but I also know how much you want to have kids. I'll grow up! I'll throw out my heelys and get a 40k like every other guy out there! I'll even get a real job, one that's steady and that will be in the future! One that could buy us a nice house!" I suck in a sharp breath at that. I stare wide eyed down at Toby, my heart breaking for the poor broken looking man. The fact that he'd do that for me, give up what he loves for me, is unfathomable. He notices my reaction immediately and perks up at the idea of me considering his offer. "I'll do it all and more if it'll make you happy. If it'll make you stay I'll do anything for you."

I shake my head sadly. "Sweet words like those is what got me in this position in the first place. So no. As much as I love hearing them, no. Goodbye Toby." His grip falls limp and I slide my hand from his. It seems he's wallowing in defeat, his sad eyes speaking more than words ever could.

Casting the man I love one last glance, I head for the door. As I pick up my car keys and my shoes are slipped on, I hear loud shuffling and soft repeated thuds. Turning around I catch sight of Toby making his way after me. He's still on his knees, scooting along the wood floor of living room towards me. "I love you with every part of me Rachel! Please don't go. I love you." The tears he was trying to hold back are falling now, showing me the most vulnerable side of him.

I bite my tongue and turn back to the door. If I stayed any longer I'd cave. No matter how much pain he caused me, one heartfelt look from that man never failed in making me cave. I was already so close to giving in. Turning the handle, I step out onto the stoop.

Whispered broken words leave a sting in my soul as I shut the door.

"_Don't go_."


End file.
